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To the sponsors, donors, and participants of our first event,
Thank you everyone, so much, for being a part of this. It really is a huge honor. All the parents out here know how good it feels to see your child doing something that makes you proud, and you guys are making Alex and I feel so, so proud of Ellis right now.
I really wanted to make sure and talk about her today. The Lavender Project is hers after all. If you’re here and don’t know our story, on June 30, 2022 after a healthy full term pregnancy, we learned our daughter, Ellis, didn’t have a heartbeat anymore due to a spontaneous, concealed placental abruption. Thankfully Alex had a scheduled appointment that morning, and whatever complications could have arose for her didn’t happen. The strength, courage, and faith my wife had that day is something I’ll never forget, something that made me fall in love with her all over again, and something I think we should all honor her for. Ellis is a saint up in Heaven now, but I’ve got a saint here on earth as well as my wife. We can all be very confident in what The Lavender Project does because we know she’s leading it. Alex delivered Ellis at 11:31 pm, she weighed 7 lbs 3 oz, was 21 inches long, and she was absolutely beautiful. Almost a perfect little copy of her older sister. She was obviously way too good to be here.
We’ve worked hard to make this event happen, and we’ll continue to work hard to make The Lavender Project grow, but every single bit of this event and whatever we accomplish in the future, is because of the life of Ellis, and it can only be done through the grace of God. This is not Alex and I just trying to be good people and make something good out of something bad that happened to us. This is because Ellis created a lot of love in the world, and in our hearts, and we have the assignment of sharing it. Selfishly, I wish she was here to share it herself, and I can say that Alex and I would probably be happier if this never happened to us. We would at least have a lot less reason to be sad, but also, The Lavender Project wouldn’t exist if it didn’t happen. So, what should we really believe and have hope for today? Here’s what I think.
There’s a lot of talk in our world today of what constitutes a life and whose happiness or life needs to be protected and prioritized more than others. What I believe, and I hope what we can bring others to believe, is that in Ellis’ 9 months of life she did more good for the world and for me personally than I have in my whole life. I think she obviously had a life that’s worth recognizing, and I think it’s evident by the impact she is making, and the love she’s given us all to experience. We can see it here today, and I think my happiness or Alex’s happiness is not more important than Ellis’ life and what she is accomplishing. This is true for all life not just Ellis’, and if you have lost a child, an infant, or a pregnancy, we’re here for you, we see you, and we honor and recognize their lives as well. Our worth as people is not determined by how long we’ve been here or what we’ve done so far, but it is determined by the One who gave us life in the first place at the very moment we were created. From the very beginning we all have the potential to join Ellis in Heaven one day. So, I hope that instead of feeling sorrow or compassion today on the one-year anniversary of her death, we all start to feel encouraged and strengthened because of what we see Ellis doing. If she can bring us all here today after her way too short life, then imagine what we are capable of doing with the life we still have, and how many more souls can join her because of our work.
That is really what we want The Lavender Project to be about. We are going to do a lot of good things – we’re going to donate cuddle cots, help with funeral and burial costs, create bereavement rooms in hospitals, support and improve therapy options for grieving families, but mostly what I want us to achieve is to develop a group of people, everyone here included, that insert themselves into the lives of people who are suffering, to get over the discomfort that’s there, and to start showing extraordinary acts of love to people that are hurting, so that we can turn pain into purpose, show that life can still be celebrated, that lives can be saved, people can be set free, and ultimately so that more souls are brought to Jesus.
I think that’s quite a life and legacy Ellis will leave behind, but also, when people are really suffering, it’s not a very easy thing to do. Extraordinary acts of love aren’t a text here or there. It’s not signing up for a meal train. It’s not even just being nice to people. Those are all good things we should keep doing, and things that helped our family tremendously through the past year, but the love I want The Lavender Project to create, the love I think Ellis would have shared, is something a little different, and I think there’s a trick. A trick to really make your words and your love count. I heard a speaker say one time that, “Love is a bridge that allows truth to cross over.” The Bible says in John 8:31-32, “To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” So, if his teachings reveal the truth, and the truth sets us free, free from the pain of grief specifically, then what is he trying to teach us? His first commandment - “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind”, and #2, to, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Sometimes we forget that “Love your neighbor as yourself” is actually #2 and not #1. There’s a reason Jesus put these in order, and that’s the trick I’m talking about to make our mission successful. If you want to love the people in your life, and to love yourself well, and if we’re really going to help people when they’re hurting, you better make sure you love God first. With all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. I want The Lavender Project to make people want to love God more. He will teach you what extraordinary love really is, I promise. Nothing we say to someone right away after a tragedy is going to set them free from that hurt, but when we love them, really love them, continuously, the way God loves us, then over time we build a bridge that allows truth to cross over, our words mean more, our presence means more, and the Truth of God has the power to heal all kinds of hurt.
So, thank you so much to everyone here that has loved us so well over the past year. You have healed our hurt in many ways, and made us love God more instead of being mad at Him for what happened. I want all of you to know that being here today makes a huge difference in taking away the sadness of Ellis’ death and joyfully brings a legacy for her life that means so much to Alex and me. Hopefully, through your generosity today and for years to come, and through your extraordinary acts of love, we can help heal the hurts of many other people, especially those who have lost a child. I can’t thank you all enough. I will never forget it, and hopefully every year I’ll be more and more amazed at the support we receive. Through the grace of God, The Lavender project is going to make sure your donations make a difference, and we will never stop being proud of Ellis, our beautiful lavender girl.
